Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan (PDP, Kogi Central), the suspended Chairman of the Senate Committee on Diaspora and NGOs, on Sunday issued a satirical apology to Senate President Godswill Akpabio.
In the letter, Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan offered an “apology” for the “grievous crime” of maintaining dignity and self-respect in the Senate President’s presence.
Mockingly, she referenced expectations of compliance, writing: “How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… ‘requests’ was not merely a personal choice but a constitutional violation of certain men’s entitlement.”
Addressing systemic sexism, she continued: “Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.”
The letter read in part: “Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,
It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance — of the very personal kind.
How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… ‘requests’ was not merely a personal choice but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.
I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of ‘quid pro quo,’ I bow my head in fictional shame.
Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.
