Sez Me …
The NFL is America’s 51st state.
It is modeled after the State of Denmark, which may be OK for diehard visitors, but where there’s always been something rotten — at least since Shakespeare got his first wind of it.
There is this huge envelope of cash filled with suckers money, you see, and the NFL keeps pushing the outside of it.
Blinded by the light of treasure, it acts as though there is no cliff, no danger to its shield even being scratched. It marches straight ahead carrying invisible umbrellas, easily surviving scandal after scandal, bad play, rampant player and coaching turnover, and making things up as it rolls along in its green road, serpentining the larger potholes.
The League keeps softening its game, smearing on pancake makeup to cover the blemishes, while making it harder for Joe and Josephine Fan to watch.
The bosses bought into a few changes last week.
One was possibly flexing up to four late-season, Thursday night games, which will replace less-attractive matchups (for Amazon Prime streamers only). As of now, it’s only for 2023, although if no games are flexed this season, it will carry over to 2024.
The other will allow a kickoff returner to fair-catch the ball inside the 25-yard line, with the series starting at the 25.
OK. First of all, Thursday night games stink, and they don’t give players enough time to fully recover. Except for the Thanksgiving matches, which are settled into history, they should be eliminated. They make more money. So they won’t be.
But what of the fans who travel? Thousands look at the schedule and make immediate plans — expensive plans — to follow their teams, especially to destination cities.
Giants owner John Mara says he’s “adamantly opposed” to flipping, that it isn’t fair to the fans. A billionaire with a voice of reason. But Roger Goodell, his head stuck in the purse, has been pushing it (and his greedy bosses just rewarded him with a new three-year contract extension).
As for the fair catch on kickoffs — a college rule that smells — it’s just another way for The League to tell us it cares about player safety (aka, fewer lawyers) … along with eliminating the pooch kickoff, taking away yet another coaching strategy in favor of more offense.
If it’s so interested in player safety, why not listen to the great majority of them who hate artificial turf? To the owners, money is an object, which I find objectionable. I hate that faux crap. It ruins careers.
Kickoff returns provide entertainment. Ever see Gale Sayers or O.J. return one? They can be thrill rides. A kickoff brought back for a touchdown after the other team scores may be the most devastating action in sports. It pops the balloon.
“Where does it stop?” asks K.C. coach Andy Reid. “You don’t want to take too many pieces away or you’ll be playing flag football.”
Goodell knows gamblers who provide the ballast will keep his game afloat financially, probably forever, which is why a franchise such as Washington can go for $6 billion.
But at what expense? Reid is right. They’re taking the ferocity and foot out of football. Gamblers will find themselves betting on games of Twister.
If Roger were boxing’s czar, he’d outlaw hitting below — and above — the belt. …
The numbers are padded, of course. It’s the NFL, after all. The League claims the draft in Kansas City drew 312,000 people over the three days. The 2024 draft will be held in Green Bay’s 312,000-seat sports arena. …
Washington has been denied a trademark for “Commanders,” because it’s been TMed more than once. So the geniuses go through all this expensive name-change scramble without checking on a trademark? …
How about Washington Leakers? …
The 49ers screwed up in the playoffs, so the NFL now will allow its teams to dress three quarterbacks for games. No advice given as to how GMs are going to find 96 when they can’t find a legitimate 32. …
Patrick Mahomes’ nose grows to Disney length after he says it’s not about the money. Ten years, $450 million, he gets. How long before the holdout? …
Aaron Rodgers says his first month with the Jets “has been a dream,” as he dreamily sips from a potent ayahuasca cocktail. …
There have been days when the Padres have needed a stronger Odor to mask their stink. …
Ghost runner has to disappear. …
The A’s new Vegas ballpark is set to seat 30,000, but its roof will not be fully closed. Vegas has become the Statue of Liberty, welcoming the tired, poor Oakland franchises yearning to breathe the free, incredibly hot air. …
If only the Padres could play in the AL Central, quite possibly the worst division since MLB divided. …
The Dodgers, who have damaged starters, call up two future Cy Young pitchers from their farm. …
It appears as though Mike Bohn resigned as USC’s athletic director the way Napoleon resigned to Elba. SC, with wounds in need of a balm, is trying to reach Gandhi to oversee the search. …
Why is it that, when a batter sneaks a peek at where the catcher sets the mitt, it’s cheating (it isn’t), but when a catcher frames a pitch, it is not? …
Can France’s 7-2 Victor Wembanyama, the Spurs’ presumed first overall draft choice, hold up? Skinny? NBA bigs can guard him with folding fans. …
Brooks Koepka reminds me of distance runner Lasse Viren. He only comes out for majors. Except no one’s accusing him of blood doping. …
The PGA has to be surprised. Golfers who were great prior to LIV, remain great. …
The Unfrozen Four. Can you guess the northernmost city involved in the NHL Stanley Cup semifinals? That coldbed of hockey. Vegas. …
The Holiday Bowl again is seeking a new sponsor. Padres Holiday Bowl would be great, but football teams would have trouble when in scoring position. …
HBO Max is being rebranded, to Max. I do not understand why. HBO isn’t brand enough? …
Memo to automakers: AM radio is an important patch in the entire Americana quilt thing. Ford finally gets it. …
I can feel the energy sucked out of the room. RIP, Tina Turner, a great talent of tireless movement, and a woman of magnificent strength. The Ike and Tina Revue opened in 1969 for the Stones at the arena. …
There are around 6,000 athletic directors in the U.S. Sports Business Journal has named SDSU’s JD Wicker AD of the Year. Well deserved. But, JD, can you move the football? …
RIP, Denny Stolz, who once told me during his unsuccessful reign as Aztecs football coach: “Lincoln High has more Division I prospects than the entire states of Colorado and New Mexico. …
After 50 years in this crazy business, Terry Monahan is retiring. He and I witnessed Marcus Allen’s first football game for Lincoln vs. Madison. When people doubt my veracity when I say Marcus, playing safety and not a down of offense, had over 30 tackles that night, I refer them to Terry. …
Memorial Day is for remembrance. So remember, heroes save and protect lives, not the end zone, basket, home plate or net.