DEAR HARRIETTE: From out of nowhere, I had a dream that was extremely provocative. Next thing you know, I was having a spontaneous orgasm, even though nobody touched me — including myself.
It was amazing and highly unusual. Nothing like that has ever happened to me.
I woke my husband up with the squirming that apparently was going on. I don’t know if I said anything. I don’t remember the details of the dream, either. I woke up to that feeling in my body, and I was like, “Whoa!”
Now my husband is accusing me of having an affair, or at least of wanting to, because he could tell that whatever was happening in my dream was sexual. I told him everything that happened, but he’s not satisfied because I don’t remember the details.
What do I do now? That was such an amazing experience, but it has caused me a world of trouble.
My husband and I haven’t been intimate in a long time, so now he thinks I have a lover on the side. I truly don’t!
DEAR DREAM LOVER: Rather than getting in a fight with your husband, ask him if he is willing to dream out loud with you. Take him on a fantasy journey by describing to him whatever you recall from your dream. Add provocative twists and turns. Ask him to play along and add his own ideas.
Turn this moment that you enjoyed so much into something the two of you can have fun with, rather than a point of accusation. Make your own dream together!
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is always harping at me about my eating habits and how I need to lose weight — which is true, but he needs to, as well.
He snacks all day long on trail mix and dried fruits. He claims that these are healthy, and I tell him “only in moderation.” When he consumes Costco-size bags of these things every week, I know that’s not good for him. But he just shoos me away when I say anything.
Meanwhile, he has gained quite a bit of weight in recent months. The only thing I can see that he’s doing in excess is eating these salty and sweet “healthy” snacks. How can I get him to slow down on his consumption?
Only in Moderation
DEAR ONLY IN MODERATION: Take a look at the labels of the snacks he is eating. Look closely at the ingredients and nutritional content. Specifically look for sodium and sugar content. Then compare those percentages with the daily recommended percentages of sodium and sugar.
Currently, the American Heart Association recommends that people consume no more than 2,300 milligrams of sodium per day, with 1,500 milligrams being optimal. It recommends no more than 6 teaspoons of added sugar per day for women and 9 for men.
It is easy to consume more than the daily recommendation in just one sitting. My research suggests that, as far as snacks go, dried fruits are among the healthier choices. There are plenty of health benefits to be gained from dried fruits, including vitamins, minerals and antioxidants — but it is also true that dried fruits have concentrated amounts of sugar in them and should be eaten in moderation.
Show your husband the percentages of sugar and salt in the snacks he is eating and recommend healthy amounts for him. Bag up healthy portion sizes for him so that he can eat responsibly. He may appreciate your turning his jumbo-size bag into bite-size treats.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.